MAYBE A LITTLE TOO DESCRIPTIVE?

I ran across this ad for a new application for the iPhone this morning while updating my current applications. It's for a game called Anaconda. All seemed normal, until I read the description:

"TRY TO STAY ALIVE WHILE YOUR SNAKE GETS LONGER AND FASTER. HOW LONG CAN YOU SURVIVE?"

As Lori can tell you, I'm always finding humor in unintentional places. This one cracked me up on many levels:

1. It's the story of my life.

2. Is this game brought to you by Viagra? Because if not, it needs to be.

3. If you have to worry about staying alive in the process, you probably have more serious issues to deal with.

: )

THE SIGN SAYS IT ALL...

I think I'm going to steal this phrase off a sign trying to sell rotten bananas and make this my official motto:

It kinda fits, and it's pretty damn funny.

P.S. Note to grocery store: I don't care how cheap you mark them down, I'm still not buying your brown mushy bananas.

TEXTING 101

I just arrived back in Virginia after spending a week in St. Petersburg. I had a freelance job with my former employer for a few days, and ended up staying a few days longer to see my parents, who returned from two weeks in Russia on Sunday.

They had a few requests for me when they got back. One of these was to teach them how to text, or as dad calls it, how to "text message". I had a feeling this would be a challenge, but they actually took to it pretty well, until....

Picture us all sitting in the living room, me running back and forth to help each one with texts to each other, when mom asks if I can help her change her ringtone. "Sure", I say, and sit down to help her with it. Meanwhile, dad was fully engrossed in his phone, fingers flying (I had just taught him how to do punctuation). I cycled through the various ringtone choices for mom to pick from, and she finally settled on one she liked. When all of a sudden, *ding* she recieved a new message. She opened it, and read: "DID YOU CHANGE YOUR RINGTONE?" She looks up at dad with the most serious face and in a chastising voice exclaims, "YOU KNOW I CHANGED MY RINGTONE, YOU WERE RIGHT HERE IN THE SAME ROOM!!" She thought it was the dumbest thing ever that he would ask her a question that he so clearly knew the answer to. I started laughing, which I think started her laughing so hard she had to run to the bathroom, which made me laugh even harder. Of course, this ended up being the inside joke for the remainder of my time there.

Meanwhile, poor dad went from being so proud of himself for texting a question mark for the first time, to being ridiculed. (I'm still proud of you dad, for learning to "text message" so quickly).

We're a far ways off still, but I think with a little more coaching we'll be ready for the National Texting Championships next year... or maybe not.

LMAO : )

A NIGHT AT THE MOVIES

Last night we met a reporter friend of mine, Diane, at the National Mall for "Screen on the Green". Apparently, every Monday night during the summer they show a different classic movie on the grassy area called the Mall in downtown D.C. between the Washington Monument and the U.S. Capitol building.

We had a great time. We brought a large blanket to sit on, a picnic dinner, and some kettle corn. You're allowed to bring beer and wine as well, but we only had a small cooler with us, so we opted for a couple of Cokes. It was a great view under the stars too, with the Capitol building lit up at night as the backdrop in front, and the Washington Monument lit up to the back.

They showed the original Superman from 1978. We'd both seen it before, but not for a long time. I'd forgotten how good of a movie it was for it's day (except for the extremely cheesy ending).

Unfortunately this was the last one that they will be showing this summer, but we hope to go back next year. Maybe some of you would like to come up and join us for it? (**wink wink** ** hint hint**)

; )

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

My friend Jason just sent me an email chastising me for not yet posting a picture of him on my blog. I was thinking that as a groomsman at my wedding, he indeed does deserve to have his picture up on my blog. It's the least I can do for a friend. So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you.... Mr. Jason Lowe!!

Walking in Manassas

Recently, Lori and I have found some great trails that run through the Bull Run National Park, where two major Civil War battles were fought. I used to hate walking for exercise, because I became bored after a couple of minutes. Granted, we used to just walk a few laps around the parking lot of our old apartment, and you can imagine how exciting that would be. But since we found these trails, I've actually looked forward to walking every night when Lori gets home from work.

The scenery is great, the weather has been beautiful, and we get to see tons of deer very close up, too. We even saw a fox yesterday up the trail a bit. Neither of us were sure if foxes... foxen? foxes? fox? whatever the plural is... would attack you or not, but as we approached, he quickly ran away, so we never get to find out. The other cool thing about walking here is getting to stroll by Civil War cannons and equipment on the battlefield. Lori's not much of an American history buff (she prefers ancient European and Asian history), but I love American history, and for me walking on the field of the first land battle of the Civil War is pretty cool!

So we're walking along talking on one of the trails last night, and to pass time, we start reciting quotes and lines from poems to see if the other can name who said or wrote it. My first one was "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both." After a short time, she guessed correctly that it was Robert Frost (The Road Less Traveled), which brought us off on a whole new tangent with a discussion on whether it can actually be called a "road" if it's in the woods... but anyway... We kept walking and I thought of another one. This time I asked her, "Who said... Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar". With great conviction and without skipping a beat, she says, "CLINTON!!" I was not expecting that one, and if it were not for my trusty walking stick, I might have fallen down laughing. She just made my day with that one.

(By the way as a side note, it was supposedly Sigmund Freud that said the cigar quote, but there's been some debate about whether he actually said it or not, but that's the answer I would have accepted.)

Oompa Loompa Doom-Pa-Dee-Doo...

Well, Lori and I in an attempt to become official residents of the Commonwealth of Virginia, decided to get our licenses last week. But for some reason, when they took the pictures at the DMV, our faces came out fluorescent orange!! (The color looks way more normal here for some reason, but trust me, they are definitely orange). I took one look at them and immediately thought "Oompa Loompa". And then proceeded to run to my computer and Photoshop the green hair and white eyebrows, to Lori's dismay. She's rolling her eyes as I type this. Whatever... I thought it was hilarious!!